A Rant: Stop the Insane Overhype of Your Free “Reports” - PLEASE
I woke up at 7 AM this morning - a little on the late side for me but it’s Saturday, I’m allowed. I thought for a moment about going back to sleep for a little catnap but in the end, my mother’s work ethic took over and I picked up the laptop and opened the email.
And there, in my inbox, is an email from a particular internet business “guru” (who shall remain nameless) who’s been hyping to me for the last week or so - almost daily - this upcoming report of his which will be so “shocking,” he promises me, it will revolutionize the way I do business. And now, Guru tells me it’s here. Ready to be read. Even though he wanted to make it better - to hold on to it and refine it - he was convinced by all these people smarter than he is to release it now - it’s that revolutionary!
Great. Can’t wait.
I spend the next hour wading through 65 pages which can be boiled down into the following:
- 29 pages of a variation on the theme of “I can’t believe I’m telling you this, you NEED this, and this is SO SHOCKING” - but not telling me what “THIS” is??
- 11 pages of recounting to me the “shocking” revelations that: we’re using the Internet as a distraction, people’s attention spans are dropping, all this new technology isn’t reducing our work week the way we hoped, and we’re dealing with too many interruptions. (This is news? To whom, exactly, besides obviously our Guru?)
- One three-page segment was a little intriguing - if still overhyped and over-long: his argument that interruptions are making us dumber. Didn’t need three pages to tell me this, but still - it’s something. Worth an hour of my time? No.
- And his radical tips for this amazing breakthrough success? Are you ready? I’m going to give it to you! Hold on now - it’s really radical!!!
Get back to work.
OK. Rant ON, folks. If you’re going to take the time to come up with a 65 page report, go to the trouble of hyping it and marketing it like crazy for a week, and then put it out there with your name on it for free - with the hope of driving people to your $2500 seminar a few weeks later - (and don’t kid yourself - your motives are completely transparent, and we ALL see what you’re doing, no matter how much you insist that you’re not) - then for the love of all that’s holy, please make it worth your reader’s while. Do not overhype this stuff but if you do, you better deliver the holy grail: really genius writing.
I feel a little bad about saying all this - I happen to think Guru’s right, actually, and that this growing vortex that’s sucking out our souls we call the Internet can be a force for seductive evil just as much as it is a path of shining righteousness. But that? Could have been said in MUCH less time, and in a much less hyped and frenetic way. And if it had been - well, I still wouldn’t have been tempted to spend $2500 on your seminar. But I would have had a much better opinion of your services. And besides, Guru asked for it; his sales page even makes mention of the loathsome practice of overhyping information products!
Rant off. I’ll be back later with the promised update on the blog launch but right now, I’m too aggravated.
Technorati Tags: marketing reports, internet business gurus
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